i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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