Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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