Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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