Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
as a side note pls kill me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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