I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
nut hugger
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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