Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
