Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
