now i know why i became what i already was.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
