i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize