At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
