those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
