i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
