I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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