My hand turned me down
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
