If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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