dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
