you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
