I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
