Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
