You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
