I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
