Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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