Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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