His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize