People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
