Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's official drugs can't kill me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
