I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
