hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize