Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
