I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
