no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
