When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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