I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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