Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
