Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
