Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
