Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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