No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize