My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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