you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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