took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
my poor anus
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
