dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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