dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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