Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize