I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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