Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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