he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
