I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
