So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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