There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
