just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she looked like the before picture.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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