Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
