Will you blow on my dice?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
