No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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