so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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