not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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